Day 1 - The Waiting Game

If there’s one thing I’m not good with, it’s waiting. I’ve never been good at waiting for things. Surprises aren’t high on my list of favorites either. I like to prepare. I like to know what’s going to happen and when it’s going to happen. I like calendars and planners and lists. I think part of this is why I struggled so much during my first two pregnancies. It was just a waiting game to meet this unknown child at the end. With Silas, we knew ahead of time that we were having a boy, so I was able to relax and just enjoy the pregnancy, since the only uncertainty of waiting was the “when” and my doctors weren’t going to let me go over my due date so even some of that uncertainty was lessened.

Today our journey begins. I’m writing this from our hotel room while Johnny is somewhere at the recruiting center having a medical and interview with the Canadian Armed Forces. I’m just waiting for him to come back so we can head out to the store, then head home to pick up our boys. I’m feeling pretty impatient – as usual – and I am suddenly struck with the realization that this is what my entire life is about to become; a waiting game.

First, the waiting to find out if he has passed all the testing and is accepted. Once that waiting is past, we move on to the waiting for a date for BMQ and from there to the waiting (and dreading) his departure for the training. It’s then that I begin the agonizing wait for boot camp to be over so that we can be together again. After he’s done with his basic and career training periods, we start waiting (and again more dreading) the time that he will be deployed.
This means that I’m going to have to work on my patience. Johnny seems very laid-back and accepting of the whole waiting game, but I’m not quite so cool and collected. I’m trying very hard, but I can’t help wishing I could just “know”.

When I know something, you’ll know something. As of now, day one of the waiting game is underway.

UPDATE: It's almost 2pm...I'm now sitting in the hotel lobby because checkout time was hours ago (but the wonderful people at the inn we are staying at allowed me to stay in the room past checkout time since I had nowhere else to go) and there is no sign of Johnny. He left at 7am and he's still not back. I hope this is a good sign. I'm pretty bored though. He even has the car so I can't go shopping!